Trifecta Dos - 3/13/2010

You've already seen the video of the bottles whizzing by, now take a look at the blurry pictures! I wanted to grab 2 or 3 or 10 off of the line, but the delicious bottles of Miller High Life were zipping along so fast that I was afraid I would lose an arm if I attempted that feat. No beer, even the high life, is worth losing an arm over. I shouldn't have to go through life as a one-armed cripple just for a few free beers.

Joey Kanz gives a big thumbs up to show his enthusiasm for the tour. I don't know why he is so happy. He gets to look at this shit all day every day. But maybe he just loves his job that much that he comes in on the weekend to check on the beer. Melissa expressed her enthusiasm by updating her status on Facebook. I liked it.

Little kids get all amped up about going to the zoo, but big kids get their rocks off by going to the brewery. Nothing is more exciting than seeing the birth of grown up candy. And we choose to let our enthusiasm escape from our gaping mouths instead of letting it fester inside of us. Because that is what the grown ups do.

It's a good thing that we had earphones or else I wouldn't have heard a word of what Jack the tour guide was telling us. But even the earphones could prevent the information from going in one ear and out the other. I didn't come her to learn; I came here for the beer.

We climbed the stairs to check out the brew kettles on the last stop of our tour before the tasting. Having a private behind the scenes tour was amazing because everything was more personal. Plus Jack was a really cool old guy. I know that we all loved this unique tour.

Now don't get me wrong, I do care about how beer is made. I respect the people who labor over the creation of of one of the finest beverages on the planet. But let's face it - the only reason that people go on a brewery tour is for the beer sampling at the end. Since it was so close to St. Patrick's Day, they had a fresh batch of green beer on tap. Some people find green beer hokey and a slap in the face to Irish Tradition. I find that it goes down just as smooth as regular beer. We sampled a few of the other fine Miller products then concentrated on our favorite part of the Miller Tour - sending out free post cards to our friends, families and enemies. I always send one to my Mom (because she disapproves of my drinking) but this time I also sent one to my Brother James in South Carolina. And then I sent one to 1060 W. Addison in Chicago (Wrigley Field, home of the Cubs) that read don't worry, every team has a bad century. I use every chance I get to take a cheap shot at the Chicago Cubs.