Oh Canada and Motown Madness - Brewers vs Tigers in Detroit

We were instructed then to smell the whisky and bask in its aroma. So we did it. Maybe that's how they do things up here in Canada. I mostly just go on brewery tours, so this whole thing was pretty foreign to me. Since I've never been to a distillery or any wine tasting event, I did as instructed so as not to look out of place. But after all of the comments we made on the tour and me calling our table the "Kids Table" when we got in the room, I'm pretty sure everyone there already knew we were out of place. Melissa and Aaron can possibly fit in, but not me.

There was some more history lessons being dropped by our tour guide, but I was too busy looking forward to the next drink. The best thing about it was that with every drink, Aaron became more attractive. Maybe that's how he got Melissa to fall in love with and eventually marry him. But then he'd have to keep her sauced 24-7. I guess if she had the blood of Christ than it could be possible. There must be something else than that he does to win over the hearts of women. If not for his dashing good looks, then what? I'm pretty sure that I know what it is...

I fell in love with Aaron's personality and witty sense of humor. When I first met him, I though he was just a giant asshole. When I got to know him, I realized that he was my giant asshole. We lived together for 3 years, and although this picture looks a little gay, don't worry. We're just hetero life mates. Aaron is married and I like chicks. So while Melissa doesn't have to worry about me stealing her husband away from her, she does have to worry that I will someday permanently move into the spare bedroom.

I consider myself to be more of a Frankenstein, at least compared to our tour guide who was more like a Frankenfine. But now you finally get to see the chick that I've been talking about for the last few minutes. I don't think that I would've been able to talk to her without all of the liquid courage that I had just consumed, so I suppose I have Canadian Club Whisky to thank for this photograph. I apologized for being a goofball during the tour, and she laughed and said it made the tour more enjoyable. The best part that I remember was during the tasting. She said," Now it's time to do the 10 year old." I chuckled out loud. Of course I was the only one laughing because I have a dirty and juvenile mind. When she heard me laughing, she smiled, just then realizing what she said. I wish that I would have asked her to the baseball game, or even to become my wife so she could have US Citizenship, but I wusssed out in asking both questions. Oh well.

There was a bunch of whisky techniques that I wasn't familiar with. I usually just pour it in a glass, add ice, some kind of mixture then enjoy my beverage. Apparently high society folks (which I am definitely not) take their whisky tasting seriously. You're supposed to do it like those snooty wine tasting judges you see on TV and in movies (the one in Houseguest immediately comes to mind) do. The guide instructed us to cradle the 6 year old whisky in our hands and warm it up like you're trying to start a fire with two sticks. Since we were not from around these parts and new to this high class drinking, we did as instructed. Aaron made sure to give his glass a little extra rubbing for good measure.

I came up with the idea (ok, so more like stole the idea) of train going around the bend after watching The 40 Year Old Virgin. In that movie, they all do shots one after another while seated at a circular table, which simulates a train going around the bend. Except I improved upon their method by doing all of the shots myself. After the tour and tasting had ended, I rounded up all the unfinished alcohol from the tables. I've previously mentioned that I'm a bit of a scavenger, but I also can't stand it when booze is left unfinished. It makes me cry sometimes. Looking for a free chance to get hammered, I set up the glasses and proceeded to drink them down. There's a video of it on the next page, which gives you an idea of how tough it really was. There was anywhere between 1-3 shots of whisky in each glass, and I must have done at least 8 or 9. I was feeling pretty good right now, but time would tell if I would go from buzzed to wasted in 60 seconds. Nicolas Cage ain't got shit on me.