New York City Spring Break - The Drunk Night

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The commercials advertise that drinking Bacardi with Diet Cola will not add any pounds to your bones because it does not contain any calories. Regardless, we still felt like there was no harm in trying to lose a couple of pounds or tone up our muscles. Jenny found a stationary bike that was in no danger of going anywhere (drinking and biking just don't mix) and I found the biggest weights in the fitness room so that I could impress the chicks. Or at least that's what I thought I saw through my drunk goggles. Man, alcohol really does distort your vision.

There must have been at least 25 pounds of weight attached to each one of those mechanisms, which is why I am struggling so much to push them away from my body. I'm such a stud, and it shows.

I always thought that this exercise device looked like a rocket jet pack. It does make me laugh when I see it or someone using it, but I have no idea what purpose it is for when it comes to exercising.

With this masterful physique, it's a wonder that I am still single. I must be lifting at least 115 pounds at once!! Not even an incredibly angered green Hulk could lift that much weight up in the air. It's nearly impossible, which is why I am held up in such high regard in the body building community. They absolutely adore me.

After all of that heavy lifting, I needed someone to massage my muscles back into their relaxed form, but no one was around to soothe my pains. Someday I'm going to come back during regular business hours so that I can take full advantage of the hotel's wonderful services. I owe them that much after all this mischief.