Florida Spring Break

I stopped looking at dudes cause I'm not like that, and focused on the madams and wenches that were populating the stage. Don't think for a second that I was hopping on the dude train. This is the 80's, and Ice is down with the ladies. Sho' nuff. We stuck around for a minute to wait for the crowds to dissipate, then we exited the area.

Maybe it was because I was a little drunk, and maybe it was because I really dig pirates, but I actually enjoyed this show. There was a big ass pirate ship, water surrounding it, masts and sails, cannons, gun shots, sword fighting, swashbuckling, pirates swinging all around on ropes, hot dirty pirate hookers, a captain, and singing color coordinated pirates. Yeah. Everything was sweet except for the singing. I guess that was done in order to make in more family friendly, but pirates rape, pillage, plunder, and make people walk the plank. They don't sing. Well, except for the pirates on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me is a pretty sweet song. Drink up me hearties yo ho! The best part of the show really had nothing to do with pirate activities, so forgive me for saying that it was the best part. The pulled apart the main deck of the pirate ship to reveal two massive trampolines. Then the performers started doing sweet tricks and aerial flips and pulling off near impossible stunts. There was this little dude who would've never made it on a real pirate ship, but he kicked ass spinning around in the air on these giant trampolines. I feel bad for liking guys gymnastics, because I'm always all about the ladies, but these dudes rocked.

I went to check out the gift shop so that I could buy I giant pirate flag, but they were all sold out of the one that I wanted. It had a skull and crossbones drinking a bottle of rum, and it said "time flies when you're drinking rum." Classic. Too bad they didn't have any left. So I settled on this cardboard pirate hat that I found.

For some reason, my Dad had some tickets to this Pirate Dinner Theater in Orlando. It's one of those tourist attractions that you would only see on vacation, and it's hard to imagine anyone checking this kind of stuff out in their own hometown. We had to drive over an hour from Melbourne, and we got there just in time to check out the pre-dinner festivities. There were some appetizers set out, and there were pirate performers walking around saying pirate things. We bought a couple of beers, and I was a little pissed that they were so expensive. But you come to expect high prices at tourist attractions if you have been to enough of them. We were seated for dinner, and out waiter brought us extra beer for the show. Normally people get 2 beers with dinner, but I ended up drinking at least 4 or 5. There was pirate activity going on in the pirate ship stage in front of us. It was a little corny at time, but it had its redeeming moments. After all, how can you screw up pirates?