Brewers vs. Nationals in Washington D.C. - Tourist Shit

 

 

 

Normally I don't like to do a lot of walking (or any kind of physical activity in general) because I am lazy and out of shape. Kevin is in his youthful prime, so I doubt that the 2 1/2 mile marathon that we just walked affected him at all. But he was a good sport and sat on the steps while I drank some more rum and Mountain Dew to recharge my batteries. Gatorade refuels athletes, but rum keeps me going while killing me at the same time.

I bought a flexible tripod so that I could take self-timed pictures of both of us without having to ask anyone to do it for us. I'm very particular about how I want a certain shot set up, so I thought this Tripod (or TP as we called him) would be great. Except that TP couldn't get a clear picture of us Starting the Revolution here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the Washington Monument was truly a vampire's dick then only the reflection of said dick would disappear and not the vampire dick itself. Case in point the picture on the left. Everything was fine until that monument up and vanished like Independence Day aliens blasted it off of the surface of the Earth. But then we started walking back towards the subway station and the monument suddenly reappeared. And what was sitting directly to its left? The boob, making a dramatic reentrance back into our vision. And then we knew that we needed to leave the dick and go back towards the boob.

 

A lot of people visit Washington D.C. Families, students, foreigners, people wearing sombreros, celebrities, athletes and World Leaders like North Korea's Kim Jong-il. First off it was surprising to see him without a giant entourage and security personnel. He must have come over here without telling the Government. That sneaky bastard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We wore our sombreros the entire time that we were in the Nation's Capital, and this was the only time when I felt a little embarrassed that we were doing it. It's like we were betraying our country. But then the park ranger at the Lincoln Memorial said that liked our hats. The approval from a representative of the government made it ok.

 

If any historical figure is Revolution worthy, then it is Abraham Lincoln. I guess that those dudes who declared independence from Britain who fought and won the Revolutionary War deserve it more, but Lincoln had a sweet beard and freed the slaves. That is the Revolution. And we honored him by putting our fists in the air.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We wanted to climb up on the statue and put a sombrero on his head (much like we did with the bobblehead version of him at Nationals Ballpark) but his head is like 30 feet from the ground. Oh and there's a pretty good chance that we would also get arrested for climbing on it. So we tried to do some photo trickery like forced perspective that would make it look like the hat was on his head (like we made the Washington Monument look like our dong) but that didn't work. So we just took some pictures with him. Why screw with Lincoln anyway? He looks damn good just the way he is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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There's Abraham Lincoln good looking and then there is Kevin McKissick good looking. But you could also substitute good with goofy and you'd still be right on. Both of these men possess qualities that have been and will be admired by countless people throughout time. But I bet neither of them ever knew that.

 

 

 

The Washington Monument may look like a penis, but you have to admit that it's a pretty good looking penis. At least we know that it is not a vampire penis because vampires don't have reflections or something. That's probably why they have the reflecting pool. So people know it's not a vampire's dick.