Brewers Spring Training 2014

I was just uh... walking around by myself, uh... acting like myself. That's... that's chaos. Would you expect anything different from me? This is a rather normal night for me, albeit in an abnormal place. Las Vegas is a hell of a town. There's nothing else like it. I think that's a good thing. The World would explode if every city was like this. There's a reason I keep coming back even though I keep telling myself that I won't. It's like a sick and twisted addiction. I know it's bad for me but I can't stop doing it. I have first world problems man.

This is exactly why I cannot be taken seriously. Toss in some female nudity and I get a little giggly. It doesn't even have to be real. I'll settle for a statue, an imaginary figure or a cartoon. Anything that gets the job done. This is why no real girl will go out with me.

I always check out the fountain show at the Bellagio when I am out here. In fact, I love it so much that I stick around and catch 3 or 4 rounds of it (at night it goes off about every 15 minutes). The music varies, but during this show it happened to be the Celine Dion song from Titanic "My Heart Will Go On". I started singing it and these chicks (who I eventually found out were from New Zealand) started singing along too. If I fancied myself as a confident and attractive young man, I would have asked them both to come back to my hotel with me. But instead I settle for these photographs. And then I wished that I could date a girl from a foreign land with an accent...

I stood out here for seemingly forever. It was almost like I wasn't ready to go home. This was my last night of this adventure and even though I did have some pretty sweet plans for tomorrow, the reality of it is that I would be going back home. I wish I could say that I made my last night count and had an epic night, but I really went out with a whimper instead of a bang. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get hyped tonight. I raged way too hard last night and my body and mind were still trying to recover. But what a ride...

I figured this was as good a place as any to film a video talking about Carlos Gomez, who figured to be the every day Centerfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers in 2014. You can check that out on my blog. While I expected to talk about one of the most exciting and dynamic players on the roster, I wasn't expecting to see a wayward Storm Trooper. I told him that these weren't the droids we're looking for and he agreed.

I did nothing but lose money gambling tonight, which was no different than last night. Well except for the fact that I didn't lose as much, simply because I didn't have any money left to lose. So I found myself walking around outside more and looking at things. I imagine this is what poor people do out here. Tonight I was joining their ranks. Thankfully the violin player was playing some sweet jams and the buildings had flashy lights and enough distractions to keep me from thinking about my empty wallet. Las Vegas. Hell of a town.

I have 3 favorite places in Las Vegas - La Bayou, In-N-Out Burger and this one slot machine at Planet Hollywood where I can sit and creepily ogle the scantily clad dancing girls in the pleasure pit. That was from March 2013 for TJ's Wedding and this one is from WSoBP7 in January 2012. Well I went back this year and after some frantic searching, I realized that my penguin machine wasn't there anymore. So I didn't have anywhere to creepily ogle the dancing girls. I sat down at a different machine, but it wasn't the same. A part of me died that die. But at least I had giant pictures of Britney Spears to keep me company. I still love her. I don't care how crazy she is. I will always rock out to her music and be captivated by her videos.

I started making the slow walk back towards my car at the Caesar's parking lot and back towards reality. But I wasn't quite there yet, as evident by my odd picture with the towering monument known the world over as The Eiffel Tower or La Tour Eiffel. No matter what was going on in or around my head, I still wasn't ready to be serious. And I never will be.

On the way out of the building I had to pay tribute once again to the great Caesar and once again Start the Revolution. I don't know how you can pass by this man without emulating his style. Once upon a time I tried to ignore him and go my own path. Look where that led me. So now and forevermore, I'm down with Caesar. After all, he is the salad dressing dude.

Even though I always lose money on Fireball, I had to play it again today because it makes a lot of noise. Plus when I get the FIREBALL bonus it says it really loud and so do I. We're a match made in hell. We were meant for each other like the Yeti and snowcones. Make mine cherry Mr. Yeti. Mmm... cherry.

After leaving Caesar's Palace I drove downtown and back to my hotel. I would have stayed up and hung out some more, but I was all partied out and all out of money. When you're tired, don't feel like drinking and don't have any money, what do you do in Vegas? You go to bed. That's what you do. In that way this town is like every other town out there. But only in that way. Otherwise there's no place like it.