Brewers Spring Training 2014

I think I lost close to $100 on penny slot machines at La Bayou. Whoops. I grabbed a 7&7 for the road and went out to check out the Freemont Street Experience light and music show. Some random photobombed me and a lot happened between that and 4 in the morning when I dropped ketchup on the floor. I would attempt to tell you the tale, but I have to go and scroll through my Twitter account to remember. I was so drunk!

I only have two items on my Las Vegas checklist - go to In-N-Out Burger for eats and go to La Bayou to search for my future wife Karma. I come back here year after year searching for the girl that I let get away. I think about her often, and if I do have the good fortune of seeing her again, I will make her my wife. But she wasn't here. She will never be here again. But I stuck around here anyway because this is my favorite casino in all of Las Vegas. I sat down at my Bright Diamonds Penguin game and proceeded to get really drunk and lose lots of money. But I'll be damned if I didn't have an incredible time while doing it.

I didn't bring a whole lot of money to gamble with, so I was hoping for some love from the Penguins or at least the chance to break even and get free drinks. It just wasn't my lucky day. These old guys next to me were getting all kinds of hyped so I was trying to rise up to their level of excitement so that I could win some money too. It didn't work. But I obviously still had a great time because I blew up my Twitter account with humorous sayings and a play by play on the night. It certainly made for an entertaining read in the morning.

I mentioned before that it was getting late. In Vegas it is never getting late because this town doesn't come alive until the sun goes down. I went back up to my room to change into some dry clothes. I had a nice assortment of alcoholic beverage choices in my room and I took a sample of them all. I wanted to already be drunk by the time I set foot in a casino, which would guarantee that I would most definitely get into some nonsense. I can't even begin to describe this night, but I did have a field day on my Twitter account. Oh baby did it get weird on there. But that's why I have it. It's my window to the World when I'm alone.

I forgot that the penny slot machines at La Bayou paid out in nickels. I'm so used to the modern day slot machine that prints out a voucher that when I hit cash out (to move to another machine) I got startled by falling nickels. I told the middle aged women next to me that I would buy them anything that they wished as long as that place accepted payment in the form of a shit ton of nickels. While I'm sure that offer was rather enticing coming from a drunken asshole, none of the ladies took me up on my offer. Oh well. You can't yell at me for not trying pal. I guess I just keep looking for love in all the wrong places. I should have known Karma was not here and that she's never coming back. I think that it's time to move on.

They give you a raffle ticket when you walk in and they do a drawing every half hour. I don't know what you can win, but somehow I got a hold of many tickets. I offered to split the pot with the people around me and I was making drunken bets with people. I even let some old bitty play my machine while I went to the bathroom. And that old bitty lost me some money. That's the last time that I trust an old bitty...

Despite my best efforts, I wound up at the Scrip Club known as Glitter Gulch. I was able to fight the temptation known as the back room where the pricey lap dances take place, but honestly I don't remember being there. My best guess is that I had my nose buried in my phone because there's a well documented account on Twitter of my struggles to keep my money in my wallet. I left and went back to the Plaza Hotel and apparently wasn't ready for bed, so I stayed up and lost some more money. After that I went to McDonald's and got a whole mess of chicken mcnuggets. On Twitter Drunken Iceman left Scott some messages of what to expect in the morning...