Afterglow 2012 - Day 8 Saturday

Goodbye Cabin #2. Goodbye paradise. Goodbye raging on KK, hanging out on the HD, warming up in the HT and all of the other things we do up here. 51 more weeks until we get to do it again. It seems like so long but as always it'll be here before we know.

It seems like the weather is always gorgeous on the last day as we are packing up to leave this place. One of God's cruel jokes I guess. I don't know why he'd do something like that because it makes it so much harder to leave here. This morning even the mist came out to say goodbye. Well thank you for that mist. But I don't need your pity goodbyes. You and Mr. Sun can go to hell.

Even the sweater came out to bid us a grand farewell. I don't know why Brian stopped by but I wasn't complaining. I wish I could spend another week up here with this kid. But only if he is awake. BK3 spent more time sleeping than humanly possible.

Home

It takes an army to clean up and pack the car. I don't have an army but I do have Mom and Jenny to help me out. You'd be surprised how much crap gets stuck in the corners over the course of a week. It takes a lot of effort to leave this place.

But the real reason it takes a lot of effort to leave is because there really is no place else on Earth as wonderful as Afterglow. That makes today one of the worst days of my entire year. Not only do I get to properly rage all day every day up here but I get to do it with family. And not just the ones that are my biological family. I'm talking about kids like Kevin and Gary, who help to make Afterglow the best week of the year.

Of all the artifacts that we leave up here in Timmy's memory this one is my favorite. Timmy loved this Smile at the Fishies guitar pic that Dad had made to celebrate his 1st Album and I knew that he would love the Afterglow and Rage ones that I had made.

The last thing that we do before going home makes going home that much harder - we go to Memory Point and say goodbye to Timmy. Even though he's always with us in our hearts, he is buried here. This is where I have that physical connection.

Even though I still remember every moment of being in the hospital that day and I haven't been the same person since losing Timmy, I still can't believe that he is gone. It still feels like one big unfunny prank and someday Timmy is going to jump out from behind a tree and scare the crap out of me. At first I'd probably kick his ass for putting me through hell but then I'd give him a high five then a hug for the greatest prank ever. But that's never going to happen. This is no prank. This is as real as it gets. And it sucks. It really really sucks.

It's a long walk back to reality. Afterglow is such a distraction from real life that nothing else seems to matter when you are up here. On Saturday (the final day) it all comes crashing down that this isn't real. Or at least it isn't real anymore. Damn it.

We are supposed to be out of the cabin by 9:30am and we usually end up making it despite Jenny and I being a little hungover. It's close to a 5 hour drive back home so it's best to get on the road sooner than later. And I'm usually pretty tired from the week so it is best to drive in daylight as well. And then the sadness kicks in. Part of it is the Afterglow Blues and the rest of it is leaving Timmy behind. As a big brother I always looked out for him. But as a big brother I have to understand that he's in good hands up here.