Afterglow 2011 - Day 3 Monday

I don't get it. I am used to us hanging out on the HD but I don't recall us hanging out on the LD. But here we have photographic evidence that proves otherwise. Damn technology. I may swear that we didn't, but now everyone and my Mom can show me that I'm wrong.

The LD is for babies or people who want to try out HD tricks but want to be closer to the water. You would think that would be a dumb idea because you are closer to the water and therefore would impact sooner without completing rotation and thus would increase your chance of injury. But hey what do I know right? I'm just the guy taking the pictures. You won't see me twisting and turning through the air. Not even for an ice cream sandwich. But more power to anyone who has the incredible willpower to do something so valiant in the face of adversity with the potential of bodily harm looming nearby.

The Red Book says that only 6 people are allowed on the HD at a time. I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure we are in clear violation of that rule. Especially since I count as two people. But where we were going we don't need rules. Rules are for babies.

I'm surprised that they let a couple of badass kids like us into the shallow end. I thought that they were trying to keep the riff raff out because there are children present. Oh yeah I forgot - there's no lifeguard on duty. That means we can do whatever we want. Anarchy!

We spend a lot of time on top of the HD so much to the point that we are usually "bone dry" by the time we jump off. But eventually we need to return to the water and soak of it back into our bodies. I don't know if you are aware of this, but approximately 60% of the human body is water. That means if we don't eventually get back in the lake we will shrivel up and die. Tommy and Stacy must have feared this because they jumped ship and plummeted towards the life saving water. And not a moment too soon, for I was worried that Tommy and Stacy were wasting away.

The remedy for sadness is usually something fun and exciting, and at Afterglow there is nothing better to do than go swimming. All of us gathered at the ol' swimming hole to fulfill our daily commitment to the pact. And probably also to violate some of the Red Book rules.

Have you ever heard the song "I'll Tumble for Ya" by the Culture Club? If you've ever seen Billy Madison it's the song that he dances to on the stairs. Why do I bring this up? It's pretty obvious pal. James and Kevin are tumbling for you but only James is doing it correctly. His tumble resulted in a perfectly executed dive. Kevin's flailing in the air resulted in him hitting the water at an awkward position. The only reason he was able to survive this ordeal was the fact that he is a youngster and his bones are strong. Also he drinks a lot of milk. Remember that the next time you jump off of the HD my friends.

I think people underestimate how fun the HD can actually be. There's a multitude of things you can do up there. You can sit up there and get dry, you can jump off of it, you can look out into the distance, you can make animals sounds and tons of other things that we have yet to come up with. Most people use it as a jumping off point into the great and vast unknown. And from the look on Melissa's face most people like it. I wonder what James' face looks like as he is leaping to his demise. Could it be the look of sheer terror? Probably not. That's because James is heroic and isn't afraid of things like spiders and girls. I'm not saying that I am. 

And just like that everyone was doing it and the HD was evacuated., That's ok though because the beauty of this joint is that you can always climb back up there and do it again. And if you are feeling daring you can not plug your nose for once (like Brian) or stand backwards on the board and dive straight down. Both moves are very risky and take a lot of courage (liquid or actual) to pull them off. You certainly won't see me trying out either one but to each their own. You didn't hear it from me so don't you go out getting hurt trying this stuff out. I don't need another lawsuit on my hands people.

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