World Series of Beer Pong 5

And then I laid down on the ground and then everything became very clear. The planets aligned and I achieved total consciousness. This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to me but I was given a gift. Kind of like that brain tumor that John Travolta had in "Phenomenon" that allowed him to do all that impossible stuff. Only I wasn't able to learn Portuguese in 20 minutes or telepathically move things with my mind. I was able to be awesome at all times and have people of all races and ages love me. In essence, I became the man.

I went to the liquor store and I bought some more booze. Alcohol was the last thing I needed at this point but I did it anyway because I needed to have some fun out here. Casey would agree with me that the beer pong tournament wasn't fun so something else had to be.

Joey Kanz was trying to hit on this Asian chick and he even bought some jewelry from her to try and sweeten the deal. As some of his best friends in the world, we felt that it was only right to cock block his attempt to get with this stranger. And like true friends we won.

If I had the space I could list the types alcoholic beverages that I consumed that night, but I couldn't list how many. Let's just say that I didn't need to drink this giant Four. I was good enough already without it and it had the power to make me go apeshit.

We had done about all there was to do Downtown so we went back to the bus stop to wait for the doubledecker. I probably could have found more things to do, but I was all for partying in The Strip part of Las Vegas too. The real question is if it was all for me.

The bus ride seemed to take forever. My hands were all sticky from spilling my drink and I had to pee so bad I almost wet myself. I got off the bus and immediately started bathing in a fountain outside The Venetian, then ran into Casino Royale to use the facilities. Then we stuck around to use our free slot play that Brodey and I signed up for earlier in the week. We didn't win.

We sat in the back row of the upper deck on the bus with some strangers. I was really loud and obnoxious and ended up spilling half of my drink on the floor. The bus makes frequent stops and I was all giggly, which is a combination that doesn't yield positive results. The bus reeked of sugar-sweetened booze because of me. But I wasn't ashamed. I was just trying to fit in with the rest of the Vegas crazies.

Vegas is a wild place at night and it goes double wild cherry when wild things like myself are able to run rampant. The police get alerted, mothers hide their daughters and the National Threat Advisory gets raised to Orange (High). And then I get tired and pass out and all of the alerts are canceled. Or I walk around like a zombie and pose no threat to anyone because I don't attempt to eat anybody's brain.

The overhead LCD display comes alive every hour on the hour and we happened to be around for another show. This one was a whole lot more trippy and it featured aliens. Not the cuddly ones like E.T. but the ones that blow shit up like in Independence Day. I for one didn't enjoy this show, and for the first time in my life I honestly wish that George Thorogood was on instead of this crap. I kind of half paid attention to it but the show could have featured Fraggles and guys with ties wearing pink suits and I still would not have watched. That's because my attention span drops astronomically with every alcoholic beverage that I consume. And on this night I had plenty, so I wasn't paying attention to anything.