World Series of Beer Pong 3

My absolute favorite place in hang out in Vegas is the Main Street Station Casino in downtown Las Vegas. The biggest reason that it is my favorite is that they brew their own beer. And not only that, but it's damn good beer. If you like local beer, I encourage you to go there and check that shit out. Do you know how much I love it? Enough to give this cheesy ass smile while sitting at the bar. I'd explain myself, but I never explain and I never apologize.

We were just sitting at the bar minding out own business, when this dude came up and sat down next to us. I forget his name, but I will never forget his stories. He told some bad jokes (ones that make you groan because they are so bad) but he told us that he once snorted a small pyramid of cocaine, which he compared to a miniature Luxor (as in the Vegas hotel). It was really weird man.

We only stayed for about a half hour, which gave us enough time to walk around inside and out and check out Steve Wynn's rich stuff. Since I knew that we were only going to be there for a small amount of time, I valet parked my Subaru again. This was one of the funniest moments of my life, hands down. While we were waiting for our car, the valets drove up in BMWs, Hummers, Mercedes, Porsches, Cadillac's, and ... Subaru's? Yep, that's right. I know that the valet was laughing when he took my claim ticket and went to get my car, but I got the last laugh when I only tipped him $1. I figure that he got enough money from those rich bastards, so my poor ass could even it out.

The beer here is really good and really cheap, but they also had some specials on some other alcoholic beverages. I chose to purchase an Appletini for two reasons - I have never had a martini before and JD (Zach Braff) from Scrubs always drinks them. Since I love Scrubs, I had to do it, no matter how much it made me look like a pansy and a nancy boy. And you know what? It was worth it.

If I ever get rich, like super mega mega rich, then I'm going to stay here in one of the baller Salon Suites. And just to show them that I am super rich, I'm going to dress in my Brewers gear just to prove that the clothes don't make the man, the man is already the man. I'll tip everyone a ton of money, and it will be just like Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber. It will be sweet, but I gotta figure out a way to get rich first. That's the hard part. I've got everything else planned.

I've done my fair share of gambling, and to be honest with you, I'm done with giving my money away to rich assholes. From now on, I go to Las Vegas to play beer bong and drink myself retarded. Every now and then, I'll sit down at a slot machine or at the blackjack table to get some free drinks, but since I suck at gambling, I might as well just buy the booze. I would certainly save some money that way.

The Palazzo is the newest casino/hotel in Las Vegas, and it just opened it's doors to guests right before the New Years holiday. It's supposed to be a really fancy pants hotel (it has a 5-star rating) but I only care about it for the Naked Gun line "it's Enrico Pallazzo" which was shouted after Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Neilsen) disguises himself as the opera singer and sings the National Anthem. Every time I passed the casino, I shouted out that line.

When we got back to the hotel, it was reasonably late, but that doesn't mean that it was too late to drink a beer. I was a little disappointed in my drinking this week, as I had bought a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best Ice, but this was only the 8th can that I had consumed thus far. With only 1 day left, I would have 3 cans remaining, and I would really have to man up if I were to finish that 12 pack. Before you get mad at me for not drinking my beer consider this - I was being responsible since I knew that I had to drive all around town if I were to see the sights. Drinking and driving is bad, and although I'll admit that I've done it before, it is in everyone's best interest that I don't do it again. So I should get a free pass for not being a complete drunkard this week. If you are my friend, then you should be able to forgive me. If you are not, I must again ask - what the hell are you doing here?