World Series of Beer Pong 2 - The Drive Home

Sara and Balkman rode in the car while Hummel and I rode with the bumbling mechanic in the tow truck. Either way, it seemed a little unsafe. I didn't really trust this guy to hook our car up to his truck and transport it to his shop, but from where I was standing, it didn't look like we had any other viable options.

Today really sucked. I had managed to stay awake for most of the night to keep Hummel company, and started to doze off to sleep. Somewhere near mid-morning, Hummel was reaching his boiling point and decided to let Balkman take over. At this time, I was still in the passenger seat and tried to stay awake to keep Balkman company. Since it was nearing daytime (when it is easier to stay awake) I asked permission from Balkman to fall asleep for a bit so that I could could catch up on the sleep that everyone else got during the night. No sooner than I fell asleep, I was awoken by a loud thump. I immediately started freaking out, but everything got much worse when the car started slowing down. We pulled to the side of the road and Balkman  revealed that he had ran over what looked like an animal carcass. He didn't think that it was anything serious, but we did know that the car was no longer working. As we hung out on the side of the highway in rural Oklahoma, I sat on the side road and smoked a cigar. I normally only smoke cigars when I am drunk or when I am gambling, but I needed to get away for a minute and clear my head. I was a little upset, because I told Balkman to wake me if he needed someone to stay up and keep him company if he was getting tired. Balkman doesn't remember hitting the animal, but I think it's because he was tired and wasn't really paying attention to the road. We were all pretty wiped out from the week's activities, but we agreed to pull over and change drivers if we needed to. I hate to point fingers and blame people, but I felt that Balkman and I were to blame for this incident and I felt bad because it could have been prevented.

It was about 8:30 am on a Saturday morning in the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma. Finding a tow truck who could come and pick us up was a bit of a hassle. I was too upset to worry about it, so I just stood off to the side while the others made the arrangements. Some bumbling mechanic came and picked us up, and I thought that it was only fitting that his tow truck said Rent A Wreck on the side, but I do believe that the company made a mistake when they put a W in front of Reck. Some people just don't understand what it's like to be a Reck.

This guy's shop was exactly as how you would picture a shop in Canute, Oklahoma to be. It had miscellaneous car parts strewn all around and looked in complete disarray. It was pretty evident that this guy new nothing of proper organization skills. I was a little frightened that we had gone to the wrong place, but what choice did we have?

We had some time to kill in what we found was Canute, Oklahoma. We walked over the overpass and saw the half-dog that we ran over. From the looks of it, it was dead before we hit it, which was a relief. There wasn't much in town, and being a Saturday, even the Pot Office was closed. Now where am I going to score some weed while I'm in town?

He said that he normally doesn't work on Saturdays, and he was really pissed off that he actually had to do things. We tried to explain that we just wanted to go home to Milwaukee and didn't intend to break down in his shitty town. He said that he would look at our car and get back to us as soon as possible.

The only place to hang out in the vicinity of his shop was a nasty gas station. The place was downright filthy and the people working/hanging out in the place were missing teeth. I didn't want to sit down because I didn't want to stick to anything, but I so frustrated that I didn't care. We had to sit and wait for the mechanic to call us. I walked around outside to get away from everyone else for a little while. Even before this accident, I was already starting to get all antsy and fed up with people. I've got nothing against Balkman, Sara and Hummel, but I was getting to the point where I needed to have some alone time. Besides the United States Pot Office, the only other interesting thing in Canute was this local sandlot. I feel bad for the kids who have to play on this piece of crap. I guess it is fitting that a shitty town would have a shitty baseball field for the kids. The mechanic guy got the car fixed up and it ended up costing us over $400 but we had no choice but to pay the man. This delay cost us about 3 hours, which would put our return trip at about 38 hours, which is about the same as our trip out to Mesquite. Normally, it takes about 30 hours to drive straight from Milwaukee to Las Vegas, so you can understand how an extra 8 hours would make people get a little ornery. When we got in the car and it started up, we drove as fast as we could to get out of Oklahoma, which to this day, makes the 4 of us grimace at the sound of its name. Somewhere on the way out of there, I saw a sign directing you to Haggard Rd, which is a joke that only my brother Tim, my "brother" Kevin, and myself will understand and laugh at. Since the 3 of us go to my website more often than any other 3 people on the planet, I felt like I could put that joke on here and say, "Yo! These grapes aren't for you! Get your own goddamn grapes!"

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